When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out In Your Arms

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene of ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.

Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.

Dew said, "You are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said, "Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls."

Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so.

I moved Dew's hands aside and said, "You go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company."

Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.

However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.

Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slight joking way, "suppose we divorce, what will you do?" She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that 'divorce' was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.

When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.

Once again, Dew said to me, "Divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together." I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. "I've got something to tell you," I said.

She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking.

"I want to divorce." I raised a serious topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "why?”

"I'm serious." I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, "you are not a man!”

At that night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

At late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.

She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.

She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, "He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?"

This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, "I remember".

"You carried me in your arms", she continued, "so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning."

I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce," she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, "daddy is holding mommy in his arms." His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the living room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms.

She closed her eyes and said softly, "Let us start from today, don't tell our son."

I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, "The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there."

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vaguer.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded.

The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this.

I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, "It seems not difficult to carry you now."

She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "All my dresses have grown fatter."

I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart.

Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.

Our son came in at the moment. "Dad, it's time to carry mom out." He said.

To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the living room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, "Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old."

I held her tightly and said, "Both you and I didn't notice that our life was lack of such intimacy."

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision.

I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious."

She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. "You got no fever." She said.

I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew," I said, "I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you."

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into cry. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.

When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote, "I'll carry you out every morning until we are old."

Tips for being Handy

  • If you can't find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you break off the tip, it's an improved screwdriver.
  • If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
  • Try to work alone. An audience is rarely any help.
  • What you may have been told by your mother, praying is helpful in home repair.
  • Work in the kitchen whenever you can ... many fine tools are there, its warm and dry, and you are close to the refrigerator.
  • If it's electronic, get a new one ... or consult a twelve-year-old.
  • Stay simple minded: Get a new battery; replace the bulb or fuse; see if the tank is empty; try turning it to the "on" switch; or just paint over it.
  • Always take credit for miracles. If you dropped the alarm clock while taking it apart and it suddenly starts working, you have "fixed" it.
  • Regardless of what people say, kicking, pounding, and throwing sometimes DOES help.
  • If something looks level, it is level.
  • Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, then.... it isn't stupid.

Japanese Tetris


Mate Match

On the morning show at a radio station in AUCKLAND they play a game for prizes usually vacations and such, called "Mate Match." The DJ's ring someone at work and ask if they are married or in a serious relationship.

If yes, then this person is asked 3 very personal questions that vary from couple to couple and asked for their significant others name and work phone number. If the significant other answers correctly then they are winners. This particular day it got interesting:

DJ: HEY! This is Mike Haru on MaiFM, 88.6. Do you know "Mate Match"?
Contestant: (laughing) Yes I do.
DJ: What is your name? First only please.
Contestant: Brian
DJ: Are you married or what Brian?
Brian: Yes.
DJ: "Yes"? Does this mean your are married or what? Brian?
Brian: (laughing nervously) Yes I am married.
DJ: Thank you Brian. OK, now, what is your wife's name? First only please Brian.
Brian: Sara.
DJ: Is Sara at work Brian?
Brian: She is gonna kill me.
DJ: Stay with me here Brian! Is she at work?
Brian: (laughing) Yes she is.
DJ: All right then, first question: When was the last time you had sex?
Brian: She is gonna kill me.
DJ: BRIAN! Stay with me here man.
Brian: About 8 o'clock this morning.
DJ: Atta boy.
Brian: (laughing sheepishly) Well.
DJ: Number 2: How long did it last?
Brian: About 10 minutes.
DJ: Wow! You really want that trip huh? No one would ever have said that if there weren't a trip at stake.
Brian: Yeah, it would be really nice.
DJ: OK. Final question: Where was it that you had sex at 8 this morning?
Brian: (laughing hard) I ummmmm...
DJ: This sounds good Brian where was it?
Brian: Not that it was all that great just that her mom is staying with us for a couple of weeks and she was taking a shower at the time.
DJ: Ooooooh, sneaky boy!
Brian: On the kitchen table.
DJ: "Not that great"? That is more adventurous than the last hundred times I have done it. Anyway, (to audience) I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's work number and call her up. You listen to this.


DJ: (to audience) Let's call Sara shall we? (touch tones *ringing*)
Clerk: Kinko's.
DJ: Hey, is Sara around there somewhere?
Clerk: This is she.
DJ: Sara, this is Mike Haru from MaiFM, 88.6. I have been speaking with Brian for a couple of hours now.
Sara: (laughing) A couple of hours?
DJ: Well, a while anyway. He is also on the line with us. Brian knows not to give away any answers or you lose. Soooooooo, do you know the rules of "Mate Match"?
Sara: No.
DJ: Good.
Brian: (laughing)
Sara: (laughing) Brian, what the hell are you up to?
Brian: (laughing) Just answer his questions honestly OK?
Sara: Oh, Brian.
DJ: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sara I will now ask you 3 questions and if you answer what Brian has said then the 2 of you are off to Orlando Florida at our expense. This does include tickets to Disney World, Sea World and tickets to see the Orlando Magic play. Get it Sara? SARA! GET IT!!! Orlando Magic, they are on strike Sara. "helloooooo" anyone home?!?!
Sara: (laughing hard) YES, yes.
Brian: (laughing)
DJ: All right, when did you have sex last Sara?
Sara: Oh God, Brian ...th-this morning before Brian went to work.
DJ: What time?
Sara: About 8 I think. (sound effect) *DING DING DING*
DJ: Very good. Next question: How long did it last?
Sara: 12, 15 minutes maybe.
DJ: hhmmmmm.
Background voice in studio: That's close enough. I am sure she is trying not to harm his manhood.
DJ: Well, we will give you that one. Last question: Where did you do it?
Sara: OH MY GOD, BRIAN! You did not tell them did you?!?!
Brian: Just tell him honey.
DJ: What is bothering you so much Sara?
Sara: Well, It's just that my mom is vacationing with us and...
Sara: BRIAN?!?!
Brian: NO, no I didn't ...
DJ: Ease up there sister. Just messin' with your head. Your answer?
Sara: Dear Lord,..I cannot believe you told them this.
Brian: Come on honey it's for a trip to Florida.
DJ: Let's go Sara we ain't got all day. Where did you do it?
(long pause)
DJ: We will be right back.


DJ: I am sorry for that ladies and gentlemen. This is live radio and these things do happen. Anyway, Brian and Sara are off to lovely Orlando, Florida.


Have a happy weekend people! =) - jho

Things I Realized...Just Now?!

  • You really can't please everybody. Ang masama pa kahit napakarami mong nagawang maganda at mabuti, magkamali ka lang ng kahit isang beses mas nakatatak yun sa kanila.
  • Anyone can ignore you in just a snap of a finger. More often than not, you'll never know the reason why.
  • Madaming tao pala na lalapit lang sa'yo kapag may kailangan. Kapag wala, parang hindi ka nila nakikita.
  • Mahirap malaman who your real friends are.
  • Kapag may magandang opportunity na inoffer sa'yo grab it! Hindi ka sigurado kung babalik pa yan.

Im back! Harhar!

Sa wakas, natapos din ang mga ginagawa ko at medyo free na ako ngayon. Hehe! Ano nga bang pinagkaka-abalahan ko? Hmm... lemme think...

Nung January, wala masyadong work load pero I'm too lazy to blog. Haha! Inenjoy ko ng maige yung idle time ko dahil ilang months din akong laging may project. During my idle time syempre medyo naglaboy ako sa kung saan-saang sites. Lagi akong nasa PeYuPi at sa henyong lumikha kay Jhunalyn. Nagkita nga pala kami ulit ng aking lil bro na si Aldreich kasi pumunta sila dito sa Makati ng group mates nya para maghanap ng client for their Systems Software Development(SSD) *tama nga ba ibig sabihin?!*. Late January until February may project ako. Ngayon lang ulit naging idle kasi on-going QA yung dinevelop ko. Hehe!

Nung February 14, first time ever na nag-celebrate ako with a special someone. Yihee! Hehe! Kaya lang may sakit ako non eh. 1 week ding pabalik-balik ang lagnat ko. Sabi ng doktor over-fatigue lang daw. Tsktsk... Kawawa naman si ako. Hehe!

Tapos ngayon?! Special din ang araw na ito. Kasi 6th monthsay na namin today! Woohoo! May date ako mamaya. Ahihi! Excited daw talaga ako di ba.

Kapag may time ulit ako blog ulit kahit wala namang kwenta ang isusulat. Haha!

Quotable Quotes

"Pinapaikot mo lang ako. Nagsasawa na ako. Mabuti pang patayin mo na lang ako."
-electric fan
"Hindi lahat ng walang salawal ay bastos."
-winnie d' pooh
"Alam mo ba wala akong ibang hinangad kundi ang mapalapit sayo. Pero patuloy ang pag-iwas mo."
"Hala! Sige magpakasasa ka! Alam ko namang katawan ko lang ang habol mo."
"Ayoko na! Pag nagmamahal ako lagi na lang maraming tao ang nagagalit! Wala ba akong karapatang magmahal?!?"
"Hindi lahat ng green ay masustansya."
"Hindi ko hinahangad na ipagmalaki mo na ako'y sayo. Ayoko ko lang naman na sa harap ng maraming tao ganun mo na lang ako itanggi."
"Sawang sawa na ako palagi nalang akong pinagpapasa-pasahan, pagod na pagod na ako."
"You never know what you have till you lose it. And once you lose it, you can never get it back."
"Hindi lahat ng pink, KIKAY!"
"Ginawa ko naman lahat para sumaya ka. Mahirap ba talagang makontento sa isa? Bakit palipat-lipat ka?"
"Hindi lahat ng maasim may Vitamin C."
-kili kili
"Sige, batihin mo ako. Sigeee. BATEEEEEE!!!!!!!!"
Pilitin mo man na alisin ako sa buhay mo, babalik at babalik ako!
"Wag mo na akong bilugin."
"Paano tayo makakabuo kung hindi ako papatong sa iyo?"
"Hindi lahat ng dugo pwedeng idonate"
“Hindi lahat ng pwet nasa likod.”
- keanna reeves
“Tandaan mo na minsan kelangan tayo saktan at ibaon ng iba para malaman natin ang ating silbi, tsaka natin maiisip, mahalaga pala tayo.”
- pako
“Alam kong may gusto ka sa akin. pasimple ka. Bakit di mo pa ako seryosohin? Pero bago ang lahat, gusto ko alam mo na hindi ako easy-to-get.”
- 1.0 classcard
“Bakit ba kelangan pang sterilized and needle sa lethal injection?”
- leo echagaray
Pila-pila lang. Walang tulakan! Lahat tayo makakalabas.”
- tae
“Paano nga ba naman makakalabas ang usok kung ang chimineya ay barado ng dumi at niyebe, ipalinis ito ngayon din.”
- miss minchin
“Hindi mo alam. Malay mo. Ewan mo. Sawang-sawa na ako! Isa lang naman ang pakiusap ko sayo eh. Sagutin mo ako ng matino.”
- test paper
“Hindi lahat ng macho may bigote.”
- vina morales
“Sana naisip mo lahat ng sakripisyo ko. Hindi ako panakip butas.”
- panty
“Wala naman akong ginagawa sa kanya. hindi na nga ako gumagalaw dito. Ako na yung natapakan siya pa ang galit.”
- tae
“Halika, bigyan mo pa ako ng init. Kailangan kong pumutok para ako'y iyong matiman at ika'y masasarapan. Ayan na! Puputok na! humanda ka!”
- popcorn
“I admit. Marami na akong pinadapa! Pinagapang! Nahulog sa kanal! Pinag-away! Nasaktan! Pero anong magagawa ko? Eh sa kayo ang naglalaway sa akin. Im sorry.”
- red horse
"Work is the greatest thing in the world. So i always save some of it for tomorrow!"
- juan tamad
"You can cry all you want. You can always blame me! You said i wasn't fair, that you just want life to be better. But remember, IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! You stabbed me with a knife!"
- sibuyas
"Inaruga n'yo ako, pinakain at pinalaki! lahat ibinigay n'yo sa akin, tapos ipagpapalit n'yo lang ako sa pera?!"
- hinanakit ng baboy sa buong mundo
"Hindi malutong yung french fries sa Jollibee. Hindi lutong-luto yung chickenjoy, at walang lasa ang burger! Ban Jollibee!"
- ronald mcdonald

Happy Birthday!!!!!

Ang tagal ko ng walang post sa blog ko. Hehe! Sabagay wala naman atang pumapasyal dito masyado. *sob* Hmm... Nga pala, birthday na ng aking blog! Yipee! Dahil dyan....

Araw Mo-Nina

Ang araw na 'to, ay araw mo,
Pagdating mo sa ating mundo,
Natatandaan, di malilimutan,
Kailan man, kailan man

Lahat nagbago sa araw na 'to,
Pagdating mo sa buhay ko,
Lahat sumaya, buhay ko'y nag-iba
Happy birthday

Ang saya ng mundo, ngayong ikaw ay narito, oh
I wish you a happy birthday

Ang araw na 'to, ay araw mo,
Pagdating mo sa ating mundo,
Natatandaan, di malilimutan

I wish you a happy birthday
Happy birthday

Ang araw na 'to, ay araw mo,
Pagdating mo sa ating mundo,
Natatandaan, di malilimutan

I wish you a happy birthday
Happy birthday

Yan lang muna ang post ko. Saka na ako mag-kwento pag mas marami na akong time at pag may naisip na akong isulat. Harhar!